Monday, July 9, 2012

I don't need you, cute dress





This is NOT news: I have a LOT of clothes.

So for July I decided a new* thing would be to buy no new clothes at all for a month. For you who are minimalists, you probably won't understand the self control this takes. It's natural for you. For me, it's a bit of effort.

When I'm traveling, I barely buy anything since you have to carry it all with you, but in the city I buy clothes as a hobby, not as a need. I buy bags and dresses and pants and t-shirts and belts, take them home to have private fashion show. Then I return everything I don't fall helplessly in love with. Sometimes I return it all. I buy things and wear them constantly. Sometimes I buy an item that I won't wear for years and then suddenly I live in it every single day.

Shopping in a tiny way feeds my creativity. But it can be a lazy, false creativity. I want the real thing. Hence no new clothes month.

“For years now I've kind of operated under an informal shopping cycle. A bit like a farmer's crop rotation system. Except, instead of wheat, maize, barley, and fallow, mine pretty much goes clothes, makeup, shoes, and clothes (I don't bother with fallow). Shopping is actually very similar to farming a field. You can't keep buying the same thing, you have to have a bit of variety. Otherwise you get bored and stop enjoying yourself.” 



Yesterday strolling around town with my girlfriend R. and her sister and I found myself on day 8 in Macy's sifting through unmentionables and kitchen appliances. I'm not addicted to shopping. I don't get hand tremors if I go a week without new shoes. But I was consciously thinking the entire time "I don't need you cute dress...sparkley necklace...on sale blender...espresso maker..." I made it out sans shopping bags.

Heading to the train after church I ended up in an amazing conversation with another friend M. standing outside the station. The sun completely set as we discussed the sermon about what we need. The text was Galatians 5:19-26 and what we need is fruit. Our pastor led us through this exercise:
{Listening Prayer}
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. (Galatians 5:22-23)
  1. Read passage & ask: Which fruit is most evident in my life?
  2. Silent listening. 
  3. Prayer: Thank you God for this gift of your Spirit.
  4. Read passage again & ask: Which fruit do I most desire in my life?
  5. Silent listening. 
  6. Prayer: Thank you God for speaking to me. Show me someone who exhibits the fruit I desire. Is there a person I can talk to about how they cultivate this fruit in their life?
The exercise is simple. Almost too simple. The depths of what God reveals in the simple silences and stillness when we listen are richer than anythings else we can desire. So I'm left pondering what I really want and it's definitely not a dress.

love,
t


*I am just going to go ahead and be the judge of what I consider new and stretch the limits a little where I want.